10 Things RVA First-Time Moms Can Do To Reduce Stress

Photo Credit: Bumpbirthandbabyphotography.com

I love first-time moms.  I love their bright eyes, their curiosity, their eagerness to do everything “just right”.  I love their excitement about shopping for the nursery, and their nervousness about labor.  I love the honor of being the one to guide them through the most transformative and intense periods of their lives.

But, with all that excitement comes a level of stress and worry that really doesn't serve them well.  It bogs them down as they search Google and Babycenter,  trying to find the “right” answers.

If first-time moms could just know...

1.         Because of your great love for the new life growing inside you, everything seems tied to the pregnancy. But that twinge in your left toe?  Probably not because of the baby.

2.         Tell everyone your due date is a week later than it actually is.  The average first-time mom in America gives birth 10 days after their due date (if they are not induced before then!)  Add a week and save yourself all those “Are you still pregnant?!” calls.

3.         The mucous plug?  I'm sorry to break this to you, but it means...nothing.  Absolutely nothing.  It can come out, and it can still be weeks until labor.  Now, if it comes with bright red bloody show...we may be in business!

4.         On the signs of labor...nesting, diarrhea, nausea, twinges, cramps?  You've been misled.  These are not signs of labor.  Not yet. They can be signs that labor may come in the next day, or two, or 10...but not yet.  This is also true of cervical checks in the last few weeks.  You can be 4 cm or 0 cm, and no one can predict when labor will start.  No one.

5.         Prodromal labor can last days, and days, and days.  This is the time when you may have a few hours of contractions, and yes, they may be intense, but they are still spaced out and they go away with rest, or a warm bath, or a dose of magnesium (Calm Magnesium Supplement is magic and I recommend all my clients have it on hand)  You've heard of midwives or doctor telling a mom to have a glass of wine and go to bed.  It's because they are pretty sure that mama is in prodromal labor. No worries, if it progresses into real labor, it will wake you up when it needs you.  I've never heard of a mom sleeping through her home birth. If you wake up and the sun is shining, then know your body did some work last night to get ready for the real thing.

6.         If you are asking yourself if it is labor, it is NOT LABOR.  When it is labor, you will not miss it. You will not be fooled into thinking it is Braxton Hicks, or indigestion, or something you ate.  It will grab your attention, and you will not longer have a single doubt in your mind that you.are.in.labor. Try to “not” be in labor until you have to be.  Ignore it.  Deny it. Say it IS indigestion.  Don't give in to it until you can't NOT give in to it.

7.         This brings me to when you are in labor.  Do not announce your labor on Facebook, or Twitter, or through a group email.  Do not put yourself on someone else's clock.  Not only is it distracting for you or the daddy to continually be answering inquiries, it gives all those people the ability to put in their opinion.  Is something wrong?  Has the baby come yet? Hasn't  it been too long?  Should you go to the hospital?  During birth, you need to relax, and you need to be fully supported by your partner.  Announce your baby, not the labor.

8.         You will be your most beautiful, and your most disheveled, in labor.  You will not care if your hair is done, or your lipstick is on.  Come ready to work hard, and we will freshen you up afterward. Athletes don't primp for triathlons, and mama, you are an athlete!

9.         The much-feared tear is more under your control than mine.  I can (and will!) use warm cloths, and oil, and perineal support, and all my other tricks...but really, studies tell us that none of it makes much difference.  You know what helps?  Perineal massage in the last 4-6 weeks, and slow, gentle pushing.  This allows those tissues to stretch.

10.   Your baby needs you.  Just...you.  And you need food and water.  Not a crib, a playpen, a swing, a vibrating seat, the perfect blankets and matching curtains, etc, etc, etc.  Mothers today are overwhelmed with all the things a new baby “needs”,  Here's the real deal: someway to wear your baby, diapers, a car seat and a safe place to sleep (which can be in bed with you!) All the rest is extra.  I'm not saying to not buy those adorable things.  Do it!  Enjoy!  It's exciting.  But, don't put yourself in debt.  Don't think your baby needs every gadget, every toy, every color shoes. Your baby will never know if he wears white onesies and sleeps in a laundry basket for the first 3 months (unless you tell him when he's older!)

So, Relax.  Enjoy.  Accept that 99% of what is going on is natural, and normal, and part of the process. Keep a “when to call the midwife” list on your frig, and know the warning signs of trouble, but don't go looking for it.   Have faith in your body and your baby.  Just like you knew how to conceive that baby, your body knows how to grow it, birth it, nurse it.  You're going to be a mama of a little one soon, and you're going to be brilliant!


- Corina Hossle
Founder, Clinical Director & Midwife

The Birth Center Difference

We'd love to answer any and all questions you may have about what kind of care our Birth Center, Midwives, and Doulas can provide for you!  We offer tours twice a week- Tuesday afternoons at 1 pm and Saturday mornings at 9 am.  We also offer lots of classes, workshops, and opportunities to meet our talented and trained staff. Check our calendar for daily events!  We know our care can make your birth experience everything you hope it will be!

Doulas Provide Emotional, Physical and Educational Support

Our Doula interns had a great time at the Doula Speed Dating event last night, we were happy to help those couples with their questions about the benefits of a doula.  Every doula is there for educational, emotional and physical support both during and after pregnancy.  Some have backgrounds in physical therapy, others in yoga or massage, but they all share a passion for giving you the experience you want and support without judgment!

NBC12 News Coverage!

We got a great write up and video from NBC 12!

CHESTERFIELD, VA (WWBT) -
The first free-standing, midwife-led birth center just opened its doors in Chesterfield.

The Embrace Midwifery Birth Care and Resource Center and Embrace Wellness Collective opened this week off Buford Road. The facility hosts a number of services, but the focus is prenatal care, birth, and care in the weeks that follow.

“We have a lot of different services,” said Corina Hossle. “Our midwifery care covers all prenatal care, labor, birth, and post-partum care. We have two birth suites. So, we have the whole gamut of the child-bearing year covered.”

Hossle is a licensed midwife, so she also cares for mothers and babies for six weeks after birth.

“We have a nurse midwife who is offering well-woman care, birth control, IUDs, all the hormonal replacements for perimenopausal and menopausal women,” said Hossle.  “We have a wellness collective with the green baby store going in. We have doulas, we have a doula internship program, we have yoga, and child-bearing classes. We have lactation support, we’re really working hard to be a one-stop-shop for Richmond families in the area.”

What's different is the hands-on, low-intervention philosophy. We're told moms can catch their own babies. The practice also promotes skin-to-skin bonding. And they say IVs don't get started unless they are really medically required.

“We are so committed to parents and unmedicated, empowered birth. So, our job here is to just give them another option. Healthy moms having healthy babies can have babies out of hospitals and we believe that that's a good option for them," said Hossle, who she already has more than a dozen babies booked to be born at the facility. “Women are really starting to seek out an alternative birth experience. They want to be in charge of their birth and not be delivered of their babies.  So, this gives them the opportunity to really step into that space.”

For those unfamiliar with how an independent birth center might work, we asked her about what they do in an emergency.

“We do all the same tests that a doctor can do,” said Hossle. “We order all the same labs that a hospital would require, but we truly believe that interventions need to be truly required to stop into that space.”

Hossle also pointed to the ambulance crew directly across the street and she says they have a transfer agreement in place with some hospitals.

“We ask them to give us a call and we’ll talk with them a little bit on the phone and we will be offering tours on a weekly basis so they can come and see the birth centers, see if it is the right option- ask their questions. We offer free consultations and interviews so they truly can see if we’re who they want to choose for their providers. And then they begin care with us.”

Hossle says they are Medicaid providers and they also have an insurance billing program in place.

Doula Speed Dating

Are you thinking about using a doula as a part of your birth plan?  Then please come to our Doula Speed Dating event this Wednesday at 6pm to meet and greet with Embrace Birth's Doula team! Whether you're an Embrace client or not, we invite all expecting families to join us for light refreshments and a chance to meet your local doulas.  Doulas are like birthing coaches, they can help you with techniques to manage pain during labor and are there to give you emotional, physical and informational support before, during, and after your birth.  Come learn all the benefits of having a doula and get an opportunity to meet....The Right One!