Photo Credit: Bumpbirthandbabyphotography.com
But, with all that excitement comes a level of stress and worry that really doesn't serve them well. It bogs them down as they search Google and Babycenter, trying to find the “right” answers.
If first-time moms could just know...
1. Because of your great love for the new life growing inside you, everything seems tied to the pregnancy. But that twinge in your left toe? Probably not because of the baby.
2. Tell everyone your due date is a week later than it actually is. The average first-time mom in America gives birth 10 days after their due date (if they are not induced before then!) Add a week and save yourself all those “Are you still pregnant?!” calls.
3. The mucous plug? I'm sorry to break this to you, but it means...nothing. Absolutely nothing. It can come out, and it can still be weeks until labor. Now, if it comes with bright red bloody show...we may be in business!
4. On the signs of labor...nesting, diarrhea, nausea, twinges, cramps? You've been misled. These are not signs of labor. Not yet. They can be signs that labor may come in the next day, or two, or 10...but not yet. This is also true of cervical checks in the last few weeks. You can be 4 cm or 0 cm, and no one can predict when labor will start. No one.
5. Prodromal labor can last days, and days, and days. This is the time when you may have a few hours of contractions, and yes, they may be intense, but they are still spaced out and they go away with rest, or a warm bath, or a dose of magnesium (Calm Magnesium Supplement is magic and I recommend all my clients have it on hand) You've heard of midwives or doctor telling a mom to have a glass of wine and go to bed. It's because they are pretty sure that mama is in prodromal labor. No worries, if it progresses into real labor, it will wake you up when it needs you. I've never heard of a mom sleeping through her home birth. If you wake up and the sun is shining, then know your body did some work last night to get ready for the real thing.
6. If you are asking yourself if it is labor, it is NOT LABOR. When it is labor, you will not miss it. You will not be fooled into thinking it is Braxton Hicks, or indigestion, or something you ate. It will grab your attention, and you will not longer have a single doubt in your mind that you.are.in.labor. Try to “not” be in labor until you have to be. Ignore it. Deny it. Say it IS indigestion. Don't give in to it until you can't NOT give in to it.
7. This brings me to when you are in labor. Do not announce your labor on Facebook, or Twitter, or through a group email. Do not put yourself on someone else's clock. Not only is it distracting for you or the daddy to continually be answering inquiries, it gives all those people the ability to put in their opinion. Is something wrong? Has the baby come yet? Hasn't it been too long? Should you go to the hospital? During birth, you need to relax, and you need to be fully supported by your partner. Announce your baby, not the labor.
8. You will be your most beautiful, and your most disheveled, in labor. You will not care if your hair is done, or your lipstick is on. Come ready to work hard, and we will freshen you up afterward. Athletes don't primp for triathlons, and mama, you are an athlete!
9. The much-feared tear is more under your control than mine. I can (and will!) use warm cloths, and oil, and perineal support, and all my other tricks...but really, studies tell us that none of it makes much difference. You know what helps? Perineal massage in the last 4-6 weeks, and slow, gentle pushing. This allows those tissues to stretch.
10. Your baby needs you. Just...you. And you need food and water. Not a crib, a playpen, a swing, a vibrating seat, the perfect blankets and matching curtains, etc, etc, etc. Mothers today are overwhelmed with all the things a new baby “needs”, Here's the real deal: someway to wear your baby, diapers, a car seat and a safe place to sleep (which can be in bed with you!) All the rest is extra. I'm not saying to not buy those adorable things. Do it! Enjoy! It's exciting. But, don't put yourself in debt. Don't think your baby needs every gadget, every toy, every color shoes. Your baby will never know if he wears white onesies and sleeps in a laundry basket for the first 3 months (unless you tell him when he's older!)
So, Relax. Enjoy. Accept that 99% of what is going on is natural, and normal, and part of the process. Keep a “when to call the midwife” list on your frig, and know the warning signs of trouble, but don't go looking for it. Have faith in your body and your baby. Just like you knew how to conceive that baby, your body knows how to grow it, birth it, nurse it. You're going to be a mama of a little one soon, and you're going to be brilliant!
- Corina Hossle
Founder, Clinical Director & Midwife
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