“Giving birth should be your greatest achievement not your greatest fear.”

~Jane Weideman

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Birth is Sacred. It is powerful, and mysterious, and life changing. After your birth, you and your partner will never be the same. Babies who come into this world without medication or interference are better able to find their way to the breast and to latch on in that first important hour. They are born alert and ready to meet you face to face. Mothers who are educated about birth and trust their bodies and attendants are more likely to have a smooth birth experience, and feel empowered in doing so.
Showing posts with label childbirth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label childbirth. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Sex After Childbirth - A Dad's Guide!

Many men are clueless about a woman's recovery process after childbirth.  What they might be going through physically as well as emotionally, are things for new dads to take into consideration when trying to support their partner.  Men can experience these changes as well, and starting a new family is a part of growing both personally and as a partnership.  So when this article appeared in GQ Magazine, we were thrilled they sought out the opinion of a woman to tell the men what's up!



A mother tells you how to have sex after childbirth
The first time you’re intimate after a child’s arrived can be fraught with problems. Read this and do it right

By Holly Von Bock
Published in GQ Magazine on 10 October 2016

A complete kibosh on penetrative sex after your partner's had kids isn’t a possibility, it’s a certainty. But for how long is completely down to you and your partner. Rush things and you’re only extending your sexual purgatory, but waiting too long won’t do anyone any good either. As a mum of two with a healthy sex life, allow me to suggest what to expect now you’ve finished expecting.

First things first, newborns. I know every woman says it, but you try pushing a melon out of you’re a***hole and then gleefully accepting something else in there shortly afterwards – tears, bleeding and all. You should let your partner come to you after you’ve had a baby, and don’t even think about hinting for at least two months. Those nine weeks (minimum) are what your iPad’s for.

Now, once the dust has settled, she’s healed and there’s potential for some action between the sheets, you have to tread carefully. The key to instigation is relaxation. Understandably, she might be nervous or feel unattractive down there (probably both) so reassurance is the order of the day, as is a nice big cold glass of something.

If she’s ready, she’ll instigate. And remember, gents – foreplay after childbirth is 100 per cent dealer’s choice, so let her show you what she wants. Remember to be mindful of the changes her body’s gone through, too. One big pointer for dads is that mums who have breastfed will not like to have their nipples licked or sucked for sexual gratification. There’s also milk leakage to consider, which is exacerbated by contact. Take it from me, it can really put you off your stroke if you’re a woman.

Now, the final frontier – penetration. If everything about her body language tells you it’s OK to go inside then move in with caution. And lube. Remember that she’s been without sex for just as long as you have, so her eyes might be bigger than, well, you know what I mean. My point is that rushing things won’t do anyone any good. If she looks like she’s just bitten into a chilli then pull the f*** out, reassure her that it’s probably best to wait a little longer and give her a cuddle.

If all’s well, keep it slow, gentle and be mindful of her movements. If her hips are moving away from you as you go in, it’s time to bail because she’s not ready. If she seems happy, gradually get deeper, and take your time. She won’t want the whole thing at once – or necessarily at all - so if she gives you an inch wait for her to ask for the rest. Even if you’re only a little way in, remember that blood and blood clots are common, too. Don’t you dare get grossed out by it – we’ve just spent two months mourning the loss of our vaginas while you’ve been wanking on the sofa.

But don’t let this scar you – normal service will eventually resume. I love speaking to friends about this because everyone’s different. Some couples do a complete 360 once their children are older and are at it like rabbits, sneaking around and having a quickie in the kitchen with something propped against the door whilst their children are watching a film, but others are content with a monthly romp. But all took their time to get there. Just remember to treat any sex in the first six months as a bonus. And to keep your iPad charged.

Saturday, October 22, 2016

The Truth About Tearing

Vaginal tearing can be a very scary subject, but it's always better to be informed about your body than remain in the dark about your options.  There are preventative steps and recovery methods available, fortunately, tearing is almost never as bad as the imagination can convince.

Levent Ince / Getty Images


The Truth About Your Vagina Tearing During Childbirth
Here's the scoop on tears, snips, and recovery.

By Zahra Barnes

Giving birth can be so many things: magical, overwhelming, and terrifying, to name a few. But the prospect of tearing below the belt during a vaginal birth is a particularly worrisome aspect for many pregnant people. “It’s probably one of the first questions people ask about what to expect during labor and delivery,” Jamil Abdur-Rahman, M.D., board-certified ob/gyn and chairman of obstetrics and gynecology at Vista East Medical Center in Waukegan, Illinois, tells SELF.

Between 53 and 79 percent of vaginal deliveries result in some kind of tearing, according to the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. But—deep breaths—it’s usually not the disastrous situation you might be envisioning.

Your body does a pretty stellar job of preparing your vagina for the massive undertaking of childbirth. “Pregnancy is a state of high estrogen, which makes tissue good, strong, and stretchy,” Mary Jane Minkin, M.D., a clinical professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Yale Medical School, tells SELF. “There’s also a hormone called relaxin that helps stretch tissue and move the pubic bone to let the kid out of there.” The protein elastin comes into play as well, priming your vagina to be extra pliable, Abdur-Rahman explains. But since your vagina can only accommodate so much, even when stretching to an impressive three times its usual size to pass a baby, tearing can still happen.

There are different degrees of tearing during childbirth, and most people only have to deal with the less serious ones.

Those would be first- and second-degree lacerations. “First-degree means the mucosal tissue that lines the vagina has been torn,” Abdur-Rahman says. “Sometimes the doctor doesn’t even have to place stitches, they just [apply] pressure to stop the bleeding.” Either way, this should only take a few weeks to heal.

Thanks to the pressure of the baby coming out, your labia minora can also rip. Although the degrees of tearing only refer to the vagina, perineum, and anus, Abdur-Rahman says these are basically first-degree tears. “[Labial tears] are easy to repair with stitches, but sometimes doctors don’t catch them,” he says. They’ll usually heal on their own. Sometimes the skin can remain split where it once joined together, leaving some people displeased with the appearance (which can be fixed with surgery later, if it bothers you).

Second-degree tears have that vaginal aspect, but there’s also some splitting at the perineum, or the area between the vagina and anus. That usually requires stitches, Abdur-Rahman says, and can also take a few weeks to heal.

Things start to get more serious with third-degree tears. Those involve wounds to the anal sphincter, or the muscle that creates a seal allowing you to poop or pass gas when necessary, but hold it in when not. Then, fourth-degree tears rip the lining of the anus on top of everything else.

Third- and fourth-degree tears often require surgical treatment, Abdur-Rahman explains. If they’re not caught on time or treated properly, they can lead to leaking gas or stool, or create fistulas (abnormal passages) between the rectum and vagina that necessitate surgery.

Doctors don’t do episiotomies (preemptively snipping the perineum) as much as they used to.

Obstetricians often used to rely on the procedure to protect against tearing during childbirth. “The thought was it helped to prevent lacerations and pelvic floor dysfunction after childbirth,” Abdur-Rahman says. But research started to show that episiotomies didn’t do much to ward off those issues, and in fact, natural tears may heal better than episiotomies do, Minkin explains.

Minkin says when she was first in practice in the late ‘70s and early ‘80s, episiotomies were the standard. But they’ve been declining sharply, especially since 2006, when ACOG advised against routine episiotomies. “Now, the official recommendation is to try to avoid them—if somebody tears a little bit, they tear a little bit,” Minkin says, while noting that there are certain exceptions.

One is if the infant is particularly big. This is known as fetal macrosomia, meaning the baby’s birth weight will be more than 8 pounds, 13 ounces. In those cases, doctors may need more room to perform special maneuvers to get the baby out safely, Abdur-Rahman explains. Even if the baby is a normal size, if one or both of its shoulders gets stuck, an episiotomy may still be in order, Minkin explains.

Doctors might also decide on one if they can tell that, for some other reason, you may be prone to severe tearing. “When somebody’s really going to tear the hell out of their bottom, an episiotomy is probably better,” Minkin says.

Now, here’s some reassurance about tearing during childbirth.

Most people who give birth vaginally don’t experience severe tearing. “First-degree tears are the most common, then it goes linearly,” Minkin says, explaining that fourth-degree tears are vastly less reported than the others. ACOG also notes that doctors may be able to use things like perineal massage or warm compresses to reduce the risk of severe tearing during childbirth, although it’s not a sure thing. As for at-home prevention, Minkin says there's no evidence to back up methods like massaging the area on your own with lube or oil, although if you want to try it out, feel free (just be careful with getting oil in your vagina, depending on the type and your sensitivity level).

Even if you do find yourself with a third- or fourth-degree tear, as long as the doctors treat it appropriately, you should be fine. “If the repair is well-done, there shouldn’t be any long-term problems,” Minkin says. After that, if you have more children in the future, you’ll probably tear less. “The tissue is stretchier and tends to be more forgiving,” Minkin says, adding that this was true in her own experience.

Part of what makes all of this so scary is the thought of how painful it must be for anything in the vaginal neighborhood to rupture. (Minkin says some women ask for elective C-sections to avoid the possibility of tearing altogether. She doesn’t recommend it: It’s “a hell of a lot easier” to recover from natural tearing, or even an episiotomy, than from a C-section, she says.) The truth is, you probably won’t feel the actual tearing as it’s happening. “The same nerves that transmit the pain of laceration are the ones transmitting the pain and pressure of labor and delivery,” Abdur-Rahman says. “A lot of times, people don’t feel pain until afterwards.”

At that point, doctors have likely found the tears, so you’re already on the road to recovery (which will admittedly be tough, but doable). There are a few things you can do to make the process as comfortable as possible, like using a squeeze bottle to douse the area in warm water while peeing, applying ice packs, and taking stool softeners.

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

Doula Meet & Greet


TONIGHT! Starting at 6pm is our Doula Meet & Greet!

Whether you are an Embrace client or not, you are welcome to come Meet and Greet with the doulas! Learn the benefit of having a doula at your birth, and have the chance to meet several in one place.  Every doula is there to provide educational, emotional and physical support both during and after pregnancy. Some have backgrounds in physical therapy, others in yoga or massage, but they all share a passion for giving you the support you need!

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

The Power of a Calm Birth



We are totally in love with this BEAUTIFUL viral video that shows this calm, centered mother in the precious moments before birth.  I have experienced this type of serenity in childbirth first-hand during my time as a midwife in Trinidad & Tobago where mothers gave birth in the warm island waters.  I had to figure out what their secret was and I was amazed to find out it was Hypnobirthing.  We are a huge advocate of this practice because it empowers mothers to be in control of their experience and gives them powerful methods for pain management.  I recommend taking a hypnobirthing class to all mamas!  


Viral Video Proves Childbirth Can Be Amazingly Serene
This mama looks incredibly peaceful delivering her baby in a birthing pool, giving us major labor goals.
By Zara Husaini Hanawalt

When you think about childbirth, you might imagine a woman moaning in pain, covered in sweat, tears or worse. While giving birth can be an incredibly challenging physical feat, it's also not every woman's experience. 

Need proof? This video is going viral for good reason: It shows a woman experiencing childbirth in a way that's completely unlike the depictions of it we so often see on TV and in movies. There's no screaming, no sweating, no struggle here—the mother remains completely calm and serene as she delivers her baby. 

Midwife Lisa Marie Sanchez Oxenham posted the video on Facebook, where it is getting lots of attention. Though it's not even a minute long, it gives viewers such a clear picture of how unbelievably relaxed the mother was during her delivery, which takes place in a birthing tub. 

“My client Audra’s beautiful second home birth,” Oxenham writes alongside the video, which has been shared over 86,000 times. “A midwife’s role is fluid, providing whatever is necessary for each individual birthing experience, although almost always that role is simply to offer the gift of quiet.”

This home birth looks so tranquil, doesn't it? What do you think of the video—does it make you want to deliver your baby at home or in water?

Click here to view the original article.