“Giving birth should be your greatest achievement not your greatest fear.”

~Jane Weideman

.

Birth is Sacred. It is powerful, and mysterious, and life changing. After your birth, you and your partner will never be the same. Babies who come into this world without medication or interference are better able to find their way to the breast and to latch on in that first important hour. They are born alert and ready to meet you face to face. Mothers who are educated about birth and trust their bodies and attendants are more likely to have a smooth birth experience, and feel empowered in doing so.

Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Sex After Childbirth - A Dad's Guide!

Many men are clueless about a woman's recovery process after childbirth.  What they might be going through physically as well as emotionally, are things for new dads to take into consideration when trying to support their partner.  Men can experience these changes as well, and starting a new family is a part of growing both personally and as a partnership.  So when this article appeared in GQ Magazine, we were thrilled they sought out the opinion of a woman to tell the men what's up!



A mother tells you how to have sex after childbirth
The first time you’re intimate after a child’s arrived can be fraught with problems. Read this and do it right

By Holly Von Bock
Published in GQ Magazine on 10 October 2016

A complete kibosh on penetrative sex after your partner's had kids isn’t a possibility, it’s a certainty. But for how long is completely down to you and your partner. Rush things and you’re only extending your sexual purgatory, but waiting too long won’t do anyone any good either. As a mum of two with a healthy sex life, allow me to suggest what to expect now you’ve finished expecting.

First things first, newborns. I know every woman says it, but you try pushing a melon out of you’re a***hole and then gleefully accepting something else in there shortly afterwards – tears, bleeding and all. You should let your partner come to you after you’ve had a baby, and don’t even think about hinting for at least two months. Those nine weeks (minimum) are what your iPad’s for.

Now, once the dust has settled, she’s healed and there’s potential for some action between the sheets, you have to tread carefully. The key to instigation is relaxation. Understandably, she might be nervous or feel unattractive down there (probably both) so reassurance is the order of the day, as is a nice big cold glass of something.

If she’s ready, she’ll instigate. And remember, gents – foreplay after childbirth is 100 per cent dealer’s choice, so let her show you what she wants. Remember to be mindful of the changes her body’s gone through, too. One big pointer for dads is that mums who have breastfed will not like to have their nipples licked or sucked for sexual gratification. There’s also milk leakage to consider, which is exacerbated by contact. Take it from me, it can really put you off your stroke if you’re a woman.

Now, the final frontier – penetration. If everything about her body language tells you it’s OK to go inside then move in with caution. And lube. Remember that she’s been without sex for just as long as you have, so her eyes might be bigger than, well, you know what I mean. My point is that rushing things won’t do anyone any good. If she looks like she’s just bitten into a chilli then pull the f*** out, reassure her that it’s probably best to wait a little longer and give her a cuddle.

If all’s well, keep it slow, gentle and be mindful of her movements. If her hips are moving away from you as you go in, it’s time to bail because she’s not ready. If she seems happy, gradually get deeper, and take your time. She won’t want the whole thing at once – or necessarily at all - so if she gives you an inch wait for her to ask for the rest. Even if you’re only a little way in, remember that blood and blood clots are common, too. Don’t you dare get grossed out by it – we’ve just spent two months mourning the loss of our vaginas while you’ve been wanking on the sofa.

But don’t let this scar you – normal service will eventually resume. I love speaking to friends about this because everyone’s different. Some couples do a complete 360 once their children are older and are at it like rabbits, sneaking around and having a quickie in the kitchen with something propped against the door whilst their children are watching a film, but others are content with a monthly romp. But all took their time to get there. Just remember to treat any sex in the first six months as a bonus. And to keep your iPad charged.

No comments:

Post a Comment